To fully understand my story, my testimony we need to go back to the event that helped me take that leap forward into adulthood minus my mother and got me walking on my path to God.
On the outside, I was a tough, take no crap kinda girl. But it was all a defense. My heart had been battered, betrayed and broken so many times that deep within me was still this little girl only wanting approval and affection. And to make matters worse, I had joined the military. And from my personal experience and the stories I heard from every girl I went to boot camp with, we were all there to get away from something. How heart broken it is, looking back, to see us all there just wanting acceptance and validation. But boot camp also offered me something I had never had before, the chance to go to church every week. So what should have been a spiritual spring board for me, ended up being a spiral down the dark tunnel of guilt and shame also known as condemnation.
Many years later I would learn, through God's Holy Word, that this was an attempt from Satan to keep me prisoner to the past!!! And a few years after this revelation I would learn that God does not dwell in the past. But at this moment in my life things weren't going how I had planned. I didn't get stationed where I had wanted. (Complete intervention from God!!!) I was newly wed, marriage had been on my NOT to do list, and issues from my past were flooding to the surface. To the world I was a newly married woman but on the inside I was one very confused little girl.
And things hadn't even gotten to its worst point yet!!!
To be continued - just as life does